Untangling the Imaginary Audience (139)

In this episode we both speak about limiting identities we are each up against that are related to hiding. How might our genuine values be co-opted by ego identities that keep us small? How do these identities require an unfriendly imaginary audience? And when we engage in this kind of “othering”, via imagining other people as the judge and jury, how do we project an unfriendly universe onto everyone in advance of any actual friction? Once we can see that all operating, how do we untangle these subtle layers so that we can experience more and more of life without being led by the question, “Do they like it?”

In this episode we talk about:

  • Hiding and the fawn trauma response

  • How the limbic brain can interpret the threat of being unliked as seriously as the threat of physical harm or even annihilation

  • How we can quickly and unconsciously interpret others as enemies when we are caught up in making sure we are liked and/or seen as “the good one”

  • The importance of both tenderness and anti-fragile approaches to loosen the hold these ego strategies have on us